I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize