At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
