R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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