I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
