My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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