so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
