whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
