thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
