They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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