pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
