Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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