Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
