I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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