Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
