Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
