ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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