I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Vodka?
Forever.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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