Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
