i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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