he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
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She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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