he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
