I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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