Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
