If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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