kristin has been a bad kristin
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
