He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
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Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
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Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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