So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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