i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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