i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
