i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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