you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
