so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
