butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
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Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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