i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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