his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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