If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
