Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
