So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How does one acquire holy water?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
