I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
