So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
