Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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