I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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