Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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