my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
