he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
