Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
