soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
