he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
