i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
