One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize