The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
