woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
