is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
