He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
