She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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