it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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