I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
