I'm laying in your front yard are you home
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
