my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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