Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
