I feel like abortions should bother me more
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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