Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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